Wednesday, August 04, 2004


I made a very difficult decision this weekend. I’m finding new homes for Squirrel and Sugar, my dogs. The tough decision was actually the Squirrel one. I’ve only had Sugar for a few months, and only after we found homes for all her puppies did we decide to just go ahead and keep her. She’s a great dog, but I know that we can find another loving home for her. She'll be happy anywhere. Squirrel, on the other hand…

Okay. Yes. My chihuahua is horrible and unmanageable. But I’ve also had him since he was six weeks old. And I love him despite his awfulness. But can I deal with him and a newborn in six months? I have serious doubts.

I listed him on PetFinder and was completely honest in the description. I basically wrote, “He’s a nightmare. He bites, barks, poops in the house, can’t be trained. He’s a mean little dog. Trust me, you don’t want this dog. But in the offset chance that you are a glutton for punishment, here’s my number.” I had no hope that it would lead to even a small nibble. But I got a bite today at lunch. A lady, who already owns two chihuahuas, wants to give him a try. I talked to her on the phone, repeatedly asking her, “Are you sure? Are you certain that you aren’t under the influence of drugs right now and will come to your senses tomorrow?” No, she really wants him. She’ll probably come get him Saturday.

So now I’m dealing with other twists and turns in my emotions. I’ve felt mainly exasperation at this tiny creature for a year and a half now. But the thought of turning him over to a complete stranger almost makes me hyperventilate. It’s the right decision, I keep chanting in my head. The right decision. I have a good feeling about this lady. He’ll have other little mean dogs to buddy up with. She’ll let him sleep in bed with her. For pete’s sake, the lady used to run a MinPin/Chihuahua Rescue.

But even “right decisions” are difficult sometimes. I picture him crying and howling. Hiding under their bed shaking with fear. And I’ll miss his little warm body tucked in next to me at night. And his little forehead that I kiss even though he hates it. He’ll adjust in time, I know. And I’ll adjust. But I just feel very sad right now.


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