Relief
I've felt a great deal of relief since making my decision two days ago to just pump. A huge relief, actually. Yet...still disappointed that nursing didn't work. But oh well. I've got to stop thinking about it and move on. I am going to take Selzach's advice and check out those pumping sites.
The difference that making that decision had was huge. I felt in a holding pattern for three and a half weeks. The thought of taking her out of the house seemed impossible until I had made a decision to pump, or at least gotten good at nursing. Yesterday, though, MIL and I actually went to the mall with her!
MIL shopped and I slowly pushed Anna around the mall in her stroller while she slept. The mall was crawling with stay-at-home moms with their strollers. I've never seen so many strollers in that mall. But then, I'm usually sitting in a meeting or such at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon. Actually, I felt a bit like an imposter, with my stroller chock full o'baby. Like someone was going to jump out from behind the Baby Gap sign, and yell, "I banish thee!" But then, in the Dillard's bathroom, giving Anna her bottle, in walks another girl my same age with a stroller and also toting her mother/MIL. She had that same "I'm an imposter" look to her eye, also. She asked how old Anna was, and I said "three and a half weeks." She said "Mine too. When was yours born?" "February 6th." "Mine too!" Turns out that we had our babies an hour apart in the same hospital. She, during the Super Bowl pre-game show; me, in the first half. Very odd.
I wonder when you finally start feeling comfortable in the Mom Skin.
The difference that making that decision had was huge. I felt in a holding pattern for three and a half weeks. The thought of taking her out of the house seemed impossible until I had made a decision to pump, or at least gotten good at nursing. Yesterday, though, MIL and I actually went to the mall with her!
MIL shopped and I slowly pushed Anna around the mall in her stroller while she slept. The mall was crawling with stay-at-home moms with their strollers. I've never seen so many strollers in that mall. But then, I'm usually sitting in a meeting or such at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon. Actually, I felt a bit like an imposter, with my stroller chock full o'baby. Like someone was going to jump out from behind the Baby Gap sign, and yell, "I banish thee!" But then, in the Dillard's bathroom, giving Anna her bottle, in walks another girl my same age with a stroller and also toting her mother/MIL. She had that same "I'm an imposter" look to her eye, also. She asked how old Anna was, and I said "three and a half weeks." She said "Mine too. When was yours born?" "February 6th." "Mine too!" Turns out that we had our babies an hour apart in the same hospital. She, during the Super Bowl pre-game show; me, in the first half. Very odd.
I wonder when you finally start feeling comfortable in the Mom Skin.
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