I've made a decision to go on hiatus for awhile.

I am really hormonal right now and probably taking offense to things that might not be offensive. I just need to keep my thoughts to myself for awhile.

See you later.

Jason can always tell when I'm depressed, or "feeling down" as I like to call it. I don't even tell him and he just notices. I guess I'm obvious. There's no real reason for it this time, it's probably just hormonal. I just got done ovulating, and with the Clomid, it was like a bomb going off in my ovary. Like a hundred small trolls doing a dance in my pelvis all weekend. Ow. It hurt. But I've heard that if it hurts, then it's working.

So now I'm in the Two Weeks Wait and I think my hormones are a little wacky again.

One thing that I have been surprised about, in going through this whole "trying to have a baby" thing, is that I haven't felt jealous when I hear about other women getting pregnant. I feel genuinely excited and happy for them. The times when I get irritated, as I was telling Stacey from The Litter Box awhile back, are when I hear from mothers who are constantly complaining about motherhood and how hard it is and bitch and moan. Not the ones who are just honest about how tiring it is and move on. I think most women would agree that it is hard work. It is the ones who seem to act like motherhood is this horrible disease that has befallen them. Did they not know it was going to be difficult before they got themselves into it? It's very frustrating to hear when you are having fertility problems.

Maybe I'll be more understanding when/if I am a mother.

I was thinking about those fires in California today. What would I save if I had to flee my house? It made me realize that I don't have many objects of serious value. Honestly, after I made sure my pets were safe in the car, I think I'd just grab my photo albums and sketchbooks. Maybe my old security blanket that's stuffed away in my closet. And these cool knickknacks that I bought in Prague once. The rest of it could burn up and I probably wouldn't even remember half of it. I know it's totally different, though, once you've experienced it. You see these pictures of people looking at the ruins of everything that they owned and they look completely traumatized.

The High School's principal lost her house to a fire last year. Apparently her fridge caught on fire at some point during the day. They lost everything. I remember her saying, though, that the only thing they were truly sad about losing was their dog, who died in the fire.

The party was fun! I even won Most Original Costume. You can tell we are getting older. It was a pretty sedate party-- not a ton of people, no drunks, lots of talking, everyone left by 11:00. But everyone also seemed to really LIKE that.

Sad news....Bernard died at the vet's office. I went in today to get him and the vet told me that he had died yesterday. I was sad, but think it's probably for the best. He was so little and weak. He probably would have had a lifetime of health problems.

I went to a Body Shop Home Party this morning. It's like a Tupperware Party, only it's Body Shop products. We worked on our feet and hands. They feel so soft now! I can't believe it. That's how they suck you in. I can actually see a difference now. Shoot. So I bought some Peppermint Foot Lotion and a foot loofah thingy, even though I vowed I wasn't buying anything. It also says alot since I hate lotion, in general. Slimey. Ew.

Anyway, I smell like a walking perfume factory now. They have this stuff called Body Butter. The consultant kept slathering us with every flavor and scent you could imagine. By the end, I was like, "My skin cannot soak up one more iota of product. Sorry." Squirrel followed me around and licked me when I got home.