Random Thoughts While Driving

Sometimes I really miss those obnoxious family traditions from my youth. For instance, we had this horrible "Happy Birthday" record, that can only be described as sing-along disco. Mom insisted on playing it on every birthday, at 6am, at full blast. I hated this record. I thought about destroying it every birthday. Now I sort of miss it. (Although she still sometimes calls on birthdays and plays it into the phone.)

My dad's entire extended family have a distinct way of waking up the house in the morning. You stand in the hall and sing, "Everybody oughta get UUUUUUUP! Everybody oughta get UUUUUUUP!" Not too bad? Except imagine that every time you sing "UP," you go up the scale one completely awful pitch at a time, louder and louder. Essentially, after a point, it just becomes caterwauling at the top of your lungs. I sort of miss this, especially when my cousin Mark would do it, because he had achieved almost legendary status in the Off Pitch Contest. Dogs would practically howl along with him.

And last, but certainly not least, there was my family's way of serving mashed potatoes. You literally throw the mashed potatoes at the empty plate, from as far as you can possibly get, to see how flat you can get them to stick. It was a real hoot, until someone got inevitably hit in the eye with mashed potatoes. Or as my mother says, "Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out."

I guess there comes a point in adulthood when you have to start your own obnoxious traditions which your children will hate...until they become adults and start their own.