Monday, May 10, 2004

Fashion Purgatory

I am in fashion purgatory. Like Britney Spears put it so eloquently, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."

I have been putting off buying some new khaki pants for awhile now. Let me preface this by saying that khakis are practically my uniform. In my regular off-hours, I dress very very casual. Jeans (I don't even like shorts) and usually a plain colored t-shirt that doesn't attract attention to myself. I hate spending more than $20 on any article of clothing. I even went through a phase where I just wore plain white men's undershirts from Walmart (not the wife-beaters; the V-necked tees.) I like it this way. However, I work at an office building with the whole "business casual" thing. The artists in the building do everything possible to get around this, but the one strong-hold we have yet to break is the "No Jeans Except on Fridays" rule. So I wear khakis. Every single day.

I have been avoiding buying some new ones, because I kept thinking, "Well, if I get pregnant, then I'll just buy maternity clothes." But I finally decided screw that.

So I went shopping. First of all, what is the !%#@$! deal with capris?! I hate them. But they are everywhere. I finally even said to a salesgirl (who was wearing those damn capris), "Do they even make PANTS anymore?" She giggled and assumed I was joking.

Second of all, what is the age cut-off for shopping in juniors? Someone please let me know, because I know that I can't keep browsing there forever. Misses is too old and teachery, but the juniors stuff looks like it is for skank whores. Even my old stand-bys (Old Navy, the Gap, American Eagle) let me down. Sure I found some khakis, in the women's section, but no way am I wearing elastic waistbands up to my boob line.

Third of all, Gap, you aren't kidding anyone. Just because you tell me that I am a size 2 doesn't mean that I am a size 2 in real life. In real life, 2=8. It's very confusing. I have to take 7 different sizes in the dressing room with me just to estimate the right size.

FINALLY, Eddie Bauer saved me. By that time, I would have paid anything for a pair of plain bootlegged, low-waisted khakis. (Well, except for a pair of Silver ones from the Buckle. $68, my ass.) So, I did. I paid way more than I should have, but I don't care.

To end my rant, I would just like to shout out to the clothing establishment that there are other women out there who don't wear matching sweater vest pants suits, but who also don't wear their thongs sticking out of their navel-baring jeans (and I am old enough to remember when "thongs" meant flip-flops). Would it be SO HARD to create a store for the late-twenty/early thirty woman who just wants to look her age? Please? I beg you.


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