Reality Check

The message boards are alit with the news of Julia Roberts' twin pregnancy. But it's not the positive response that you'd think. Her reps announced that it was a boy and a girl (at 9 weeks gestation), which you would only know at that point if you did IVF. However, Julia's reps are also saying, "Twins run in Julia's family, blah blah blah." The infertiles are pretty ticked off. If you have had infertility treatments, just be honest. Don't lie.

Like Geena Davis having her "miracle baby" at 47. It's no miracle of nature. It's donor eggs.

A month ago, I talked about getting your period being the gage of how you are really doing, not how you feel the rest of the month. Well, here I am again. I can feel it coming. And I'm not doing as well as I thought I was a few days ago. I'm having a hard morning. I just don't want to be around anyone.

As much as you don't get your hopes up, there's always that part of you noticing every twinge in your uterus and checking to see how full your breasts are. Two little voices battle in my head for two weeks; I'll call them "Maybe" and "Reality":

Maybe: "Did you feel that twinge on your right ovary?"
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "But my boobs hurt when I press on them on this spot over here..."
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "A headache! I've heard that headaches are..."
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "There's always hope! It could be a festivus miracle!"
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "Hey...what's this spotting right here?"
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "It could be implantation spotting...hand me one of those super-maxi pads, will you?"
Reality: "You're not pregnant."
Maybe: "Oh...damn."
Reality: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"