Thursday, November 18, 2004


So there's a new addition to the "Ellen Is Not Bright" book. I bought a little nightstand for the baby's room from Target. Last night, I got it in my head that I, Ellen, should put it together myself and not have to rely on my handy husband, as is the case 90% of the time. I got my little Phillips screwdriver, read the directions, reread the directions, tossed aside the directions and put the thing together. I noticed that it was not incredibly sturdy, but I figured what do you expect from a Target nightstand?

This morning, Jason picked it up to move it and the entire thing fell apart. Apparently, I skipped a major step, which was tightening the "case screws" that I just figured were simply weird magic screws that I had never seen before. I have too much faith in my own ignorance, I think. I usually assume that if something doesn't seem quite right, it's only because of my lack of knowledge and/or skill. It'll probably work out okay, I figure. The nightstand knows itself better than I.

Also, I built it while "Blazing Saddles" was on the television in the background, so now whenever I look at my baby's nightstand, all I can think of is, "Excuse me while I whip this out..."


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