Monday, August 25, 2003

Bad work day. It's just me. Well, no. It's not just me. It's the Grand Manipulator. But I should be able to suck it up and get on with it better than I am. Enough of that. Either I start looking for another job or stop complaining about it.

It was a hard weekend. We dogsat a very large wiggly lab-mix type dog. Sonny and Squirrel did not get along so well. There was alot of growling and snipping over whose chewy was whose. I feel very tired today.

August in Arkansas is miserable. It's like a sauna. I feel the life power sucking out of me just walking from my car to the front door. Yesterday the bank temperature registered 112, but I know that can't be right. It feels right, but it just can't be.

I just feel tired of life right now. Jason and I were driving to Walmart and I was spacing out, looking at my town. "Do you ever get sick of where you are?" I said. "Not really," he said. Jason really likes this town, but he didn't grow up here. I just feel tired and frustrated and hot. I watched "A Room with a View" last night. Very romantic and British. Helena Bonham Carter has awesome hair. Part of it takes place in Florence, Italy, where I used to live.

While watching it, I thought, "Why am I not there?" What happened to me? I used to be a world traveller, with the long flowing Helena Bonham Carter hair. Now I feel old and tired and middle-aged. I know alot of it has to do with my job and my growing distaste of it.

How do you keep passion and whimsey in your day-to-day life? How do you still keep the sparks flying with your husband, who you see day in-day out? How do you still embrace the mystery of life while you are scooping cat litter? How do you stay a world traveller when you have that house payment every month?


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