Monday, August 11, 2003

I almost had one AGAIN. Another Pathetic Scene. We were out on the boat with the Grusings yesterday and stopped at the marina for air for the tube. Ducks. I saw ducks. I had bread. So excitedly, out I jumped to feed the ducks. Happily, I fed the ducks until Old Marina Man tottered out of his hut and said, very condescendingly, "Could I ask you a favor?" I turned around and said, a little embarrassed, "Don't feed the ducks?" Then he launched into a little speech about the ducks not being housebroken and they make a mess and blah blah blah, talking to me like I was four years old. I felt humiliated, like I was going to cry, sort of like I was outside my own ill-fitting skin. My friends and my husband were staring at me and I apologized again and walked toward the boat. He said, again, like I was four years old and not 28 years old, "You can come and feed the carp!" I said, "No" and tripped into the boat. The final humiliation. Tripping onto my butt into the boat while everyone stared at me.

I never EVER cry and I sat there fighting back tears for fifteen minutes. What is WRONG with me?


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