Tuesday, April 05, 2005


One thing that has happened in the past eight weeks, is Jason and I have caught up on our television series watching. Not very noble or ambitious, but there's not a whole lot else to do besides feeding, soothing and burping. We watched the first two seasons of "Monk," first season of "Arrested Development," and I have rewatched quite a few of my "Simpsons" and "Futurama" DVDs. Jason got sick this last weekend, so went and bought the third season of "24." As soon as he brought that thing in the house, I said, "Damn that man."

I swore I would never watch that show again after it overtook my life about two years ago, with the first season DVD. Argh. I'm back off the wagon and totally addicted to the life of Jack Bauer again.

Here is why the show is so addictive and so maddening at the same time: it does not play by the "television show rules." "24" will kill off main characters at the drop of a hat. "Hey!" I cried after a very, very main character was killed in the season ender of the first season, "Not fair!!!" But deep down, I applauded. You really do not know what's coming.

But, I've discovered, "24" has it's own set of rules, which I sat and deciphered during Anna's 3am feeding last night. Here goes:

1. There is one person in the CTU office (Counter Terrorist Unit, for you non-watchers) that is up to no good. However, at some point you will find out that they are actually up to good, and not a bad guy after all. They are just being sneaky for some reason.

2. If you are making a decision, at least three people are going to question your logic and/or mental capacity. Even if it is just ordering cream for your coffee.

3. The President's plot line is boring. A time-filler to catch the viewer's breath, I suppose.

4. Never trust the ex-wife.

5. Bad guys are pretty gullible and can be talked into anything. Idiots. Do they really think that Jack Bauer is suddenly anti-United States? Duh.

6. If you are noble and selfless, you will probably die. And most likely in a fairly awful way, such as with boils all over your internal organs.

7. Your past indescretions will come back to haunt you. (i.e. Don't have an affair or do heroin.)

8. Never trust the Russian spy.

9. All protocol goes out the window if you are in a time-crunch. Rushing into virus infested hotel? Doling out suicide pills? Holding an 18 year-old scared girl for interrogation without a lawyer? No problem. Ordering cream for your coffee? Well, we need to have a meeting to discuss your mental capacity there.

10. You, too, can get shot in the hand, neck or arm and be back at work in the CTU office in an hour's time.


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