Friday, March 25, 2005

Double Ugh.

Okay, I am going to be honest.

I am not enjoying myself right now.

And I am going to complain about it for awhile so read at your own risk.

The child cries all day long. Well, at least from noon until 10pm. If she isn't sleeping (which she rarely does during this time-- no naps for me, boo hoo), she is crying. She even cries while she eats. Right this moment, she is screaming in her swing, because I just cannot do anything for her right now. She has been crying non-stop for four hours. Actually, make that five weeks. But what can I do?

Is it "colic"? Is it reflux? Am I not producing enough hind milk? If I have a free moment (that I don't use to take a bathroom break), I am on the internet trying to figure out what in the heck is the problem.

And I am not angry at her for it...I just feel helpless because something is obviously wrong, and there seems to be nothing I can do for it. I know that I'm not a "bad mother" but I sure feel like it a lot. I think any person would if faced with four solid hours of a crying baby.

Colic. I have some things to say about that. It's the "expert's" catch-all phrase for "We don't have any idea why your baby is crying." Some say that it's sensitive bowels, some say it's just gas. The expert's half-hearted solutions make me want to laugh. "Try placing a pacifier in the baby's mouth." Have you tried to place a pacifier in a screaming baby's mouth? HA. The book The Happiest Baby On The Block even says that colic doesn't exist. You just aren't trying the right things-- the five S's: shushing, sucking, swinging, side/stomach and swaddling. Which each sometimes work, but not on a regular basis. Actually, that book made me feel a little worse, because then apparently, I'm just not doing the "right things." Listen, Happiest Baby, I am here to tell you-- colic EXISTS. In the end, from what I've read and gathered from other people, you just live with it and try not to go insane.

It just saddens me because they all say that it sometimes lets up by the third month, which is exactly the point when I will be going back to work. So I get screaming, miserable baby for three months, then daycare gets sweet, cooing baby. Unless, of course, this doesn't let up. In which case I will take up drinking heavily and often.

There. Done complaining. Had to get it out.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.


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