Tuesday, April 19, 2005


[Warning: Sappy Baby Post Ahead]

I feel like all I've been blogging about for the past 10 weeks are the woes of motherhood. So I thought I'd write about the other side of motherhood, which in all honesty, is so much more enveloping than the frustrations. The love part.

I really love being a mom. I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I could remember. Once, when I was a camp counselor, I was playing in the pool with a bunch of fourth grade boys. Actually, I was trying to sunbathe and was being constantly interrupted with, "Miss Ellen! Miss Ellen! Watch this!" (followed by loud wet cannonballs) and having water noodles dumped on me. One of the other girl counselors was watching me and said, "You are a mom who just doesn't have kids yet." That always stuck with me. When I started having trouble getting pregnant, I thought, "Well, this just figures."

And I love Anna. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how it's possible to love someone so much. I love every part of her. I love her fingers, toes and bellybutton. Her fuzzy hair. Her cries. Her smiles. I know every mother thinks this, but I really think I have the most beautiful baby in the world. I now understand that mother bear instinct. I can't bear to even imagine something bad happening to her. The thought makes me physically wince.

She really is the best thing to ever happen to me. She's the best gift I've ever received. In fact, she's so far above all the other gifts, they look like rotten toadstools in comparison (not counting my husband-- he was a good gift also.)

So I guess I finally understand all those dumb cliches about motherhood.

Sorry if this was too sappy.


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