Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Up, Down, Up, Down...

It is amazing the effect that sleep deprivation has on me. Last week, Anna practically slept through the night every night. I had a great week. I was in a fine mood and accomplished a number of tasks that I had been meaning to get finished (thank you notes, etc.)

This week, however, Anna has woken up at least twice a night. My husband, though not his fault, has been snoring like a bear all week due to allergies. I have been sleeping on the couch a great deal of the time. Have you ever been so tired that you can't sleep? That was me last night. I laid on the couch at 5am and cried. Partly, I was delirious. Partly, I started panicking because I only have a week and a half left before returning to work, with no signs of getting any more sleep than I have been. Even last week's sleep gain, with the five hour nightly stints, is not going to suffice for me to get through a work day with my brain intact. I am feeling a tad depressed today.

Also, I have not been eating enough. I know I'm treading on thin ice here, because a lot of women have trouble getting the baby weight off and don't want to hear this (and I apologize)... but I have lost too much. I am back down further than I was when I had morning sickness, which was pretty low. I have never been a big eater, but it's never been this bad. With the lack of sleep and constant baby tending, I sometimes forget to eat during the day. Lately, I've started getting a bit light-headed. (Shame, shame, Ellen. I know. Don't scold me.)

Plus I have another plugged duct, which I am petrified will lead to another bout of the dreaded mastitis. Crap. And this morning, I noticed one developing in the other boob, as well. Double crap.

When I am in a better mood, I will tell you all about the surreal experience that I had yesterday at an Arkansas wild animal safari.


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