Monday, December 01, 2003

Hiatus is over. I resolved some things that needed to be resolved-- or rather, will be resolved shortly-- so I am feeling much better. Also, not pregnant yet, but still working on it. The Clomid round was much better this month and I didn't get so hormonal and emotional.

We've decided to keep Beatrice, the puppy that I bottlefed for awhile (her brother, Bernard, passed away.) She's such a smart dog! She's a good dog, which is a change, since my chihuahua is a total punk. So, yes, I now have five animals.

It was a good Thanksgiving. Slept a LOT. Rock on. We went and saw "Elf" on Thanksgiving, which was fun. On Friday, Karen, Bill and I travelled to Little Rock to my great aunt's funeral. Not really fun, but I loved her and it was good to remember her for the day. She had a very good, happy life. Then Jason bought a PlayStation 2 and so I watched him play "Return of the King" for about two days straight. He also bought "Simpson's Road Rage," the only game that I have found that I can actually play, and "Grand Theft Auto:Vice City," which, I am sorry, is a terrible game. Your character goes around stealing cars, beating up women and yelling things like "Screw you." Our children will never play this game.

On Saturday night, my old high school friend, Tiffany, called me and asked if I wanted to go visit a friend of ours, Brad, who I had dated ten years ago, while she was dating his brother. I checked it out with Jason and he said, "Fine" while staring transfixed at his Frodo beating an orc to a pulp. Then he said, "Hey, are you planning on looking up every guy that you used to date?" because I recently got back in touch with my best guy friend, Jesse, that I kind of sort of dated way back. I said, "Don't worry. My heart belongs to you, darling." And it does.

The thing is, in my life right now, I am going through a period of needing reconciliation. I hate knowing that there are people out there, that I cared about, who I hurt or who hurt me. I cannot tell you how liberating it is for your soul to clear the air with someone. Even if you aren't ever the same people to each other again, you can know that you are cool with each other. You can look on the relationship without pain.

Anyway, we went and visited Brad and the three of us had a good time talking about old times and present times. He was bartending at the time, so he jumped up from time to time to go refill the lonely old men's beers. I finally felt that there were no hard feelings. I am also glad that I have a husband who is secure enough in our relationship to let me go work things out with people from my past.

You know, two years of therapy didn't do what a couple of instances of forgiveness/reconciliation have.


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