Thursday, May 13, 2004

10 Ways My Life Has Changed

Inspired by Pest's list at Infertile Ground (which I thought was brutally and hysterically honest), here is my "10 Ways My Life Has Changed Due to Infertility":

1) I used to think that I was basically a nice person, but I have discovered that I have huge puddles of bitchiness and nastiness inside me. I not only get jealous when other women get pregnant, I get jealous whenever anyone has anything good happen to them.

2) Even when I tell myself that "when it happens, it happens," I am acutely aware of when I am ovulating and the thought of not "doin' it" during this period of time (and thus missing my chance "forever") sends me into panic mode.

3) I spend way way way too much time on infertility boards/blogs/sites. It's like an addiction, but it's my main link to others who know what I am really going through.

4) I know more about my body (and fertility in general) that 90% of the women that I know.

5) Birth seems like a miracle to me. Before, it seemed pretty scientific.

6) I love and appreciate my husband more.

7) I, like Pest, have succumbed to the pleasures of DINKYdom (Double Income No Kids Yet), mainly just to make myself feel better. If I want those shoes, then by golly, I'm gonna buy those shoes. Hey, screw this, let's go out for dinner.

8) I will never again go on birth control pills, and perhaps never even use birth control again.

9) I'm actually discovering that I am more okay with the "no kids" angle than I thought I was. Mainly due to #6 and #7.

10) I do more "sucking it up" than I have ever done my entire life, and I feel stronger for it.


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