Thursday, May 05, 2005


Methinks it does not bode well when a woman, specializing in infants, refers to your child as "very difficult." Sigh.

Yesterday did not go as well for Anna as it did for me. When I picked her up, she was asleep in a swing, as she had been for most of the day. That totally shocked me because I can barely get the child to take an hour nap during the day. The babysitter said that she got the feeling that Anna had taken to sleeping to block out everything else. Sort of a "shutdown" method of dealing with her environment. When she wasn't sleeping, she was howling. She got pissed off at the babysitter for trying to feed her, and kept swatting her away, even though she was obviously quite hungry. I sighed and explained it didn't surprise me. I remember the first week trying to breastfeed, her tiny hands swatting at me because she was so frustrated. I said, "She just came out this way."

The babysitter then, nicely (she is very nice, don't get me wrong; she obviously loves the babies), told me that we were going to have to be a team in breaking Anna of her need to be held constantly. Which I know but just breaks my heart. I'm not an Attachment Parent, so I don't think that her emotional development is hinging on her not being held 24/7. And I know that she needs more of a schedule, but as her mother, I ALSO know that she definitely has a higher "touch" need than most babies I've seen. Again, she's been this way since the day she popped out of the shoot.

I left feeling pretty depressed. No mother wants to show up at the babysitter's house and be told that she has an extremely difficult child. You want to show up and have the babysitter clutching your child, not wanting to let go, because she is such a perfect angel. On the way home, I called Jason and said, "This is all your fault! She got this temperament from YOU!" Jason likes things the way he likes them, and nobody had better stand in his way...which I have grown to love about him. Everywhere he has worked, he has quickly risen to be the leader, and very respected. You never have to worry that you aren't getting the truth from him-- you always know exactly what he is feeling. Take him or leave him, what you see is what you get. It can be disconcerting at first, but after awhile, it becomes refreshing. But as a child, he was apparently "difficult" also. There's hope for Anna, I know.

This morning, as I handed her over, she gave the babysitter a delightful smile. I hope it sticks for the rest of the day. But I'm not holding my breath.


Post a Comment

<< Home