Monday, September 22, 2003

I had alot of time alone this weekend. Jason worked at his office half the whole weekend, and went to Springfield to visit his brother the other half. I think I needed the time to myself to think. I cleaned the house, finished a scrapbook for a trip I took to London seven years ago and pulled out some old journals to read from the Box of Doom, as I am now calling my box of old journals.

It's interesting. The times in my life when I was closest to actually knowing what was important were the times that I was completely broken to God. Those times when I'd said, "Okay, God. I don't get this life thing" were the times that I was actually closest to getting it. That was the one good thing about my depression. It broke me in half.

Shelley and I were talking about heaven the other day. I said, "You know, people talk about heaven being this big fluffy, ghostly praise-music fest. But I think it is alot more tangible than that." It's probably alot like earth, only more like the good parts of it. Like Yellowstone National Park. Or New Zealand. Like the most wonderful experience you've ever had-- only better, and more real, and it never has to end. Shelley said, "Oh my gosh-- that's what C.S.Lewis thinks it's like! Read The Last Battle in the Narnia series!" I happened to have that book so I went home and read the end of it, and she's right! He thinks the same way I do about heaven. Sometimes I think that's what really keeps us going on this earth. The thought that someday, we will have heaven. Perfection--but like no perfection we've ever felt. True perfection. A perfection where people never go away, a conversation can last a lifetime, animals never die, and you can walk through a forrest without the slightest thought that some maniac behind a tree is going to strangle you (sorry--guess this is my idea of heaven.)

It's a comforting thought.


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